You’ll hear a lot about going no contact after a breakup if you’ve done any research online. The truth is, no contact can be a great way to actually save your relationship from further chaos – and ultimately, get your guy back if you choose.

Going NC, or no contact, usually consists of a few variations.

1. You just shut your phone and email off when it comes to your ex, and refuse to talk to them or respond to them.

2. You limit contact with them to something like “hello” and “how are you” but you don’t go past that, and you don’t talk about your relationship at all.

Usually number 2 is best as it leaves the door open for future contact with your ex. However it can lead to problems if you don’t avoid the breakup as a topic of conversation with him.

However, no contact can also be highly beneficial for both you AND your ex. It will not push him away. Instead, if there is truly hope for your relationship, it will make him think about his decision.

Don’t allow yourself to fret over whether or not your ex will forget you – he won’t. In fact, you must AVOID that kind of thinking at all costs. In reality, your ex is never going to forget you if he truly cares for you. If he doesn’t, you should be moving on anyway.

No contact truly allows you to move on and heal – and that is what you need to be doing if you are attempting to get your ex back at all.

When you have this period of not talking to your ex for a while, you have a chance to let the emotional wounds go. The reason for depression after a breakup is that you’re stuck thinking about your ex for a while; simply force yourself not to.

It’s harder, though, to force yourself not to think about something than it is to distract yourself, so look for ways to do that for the first few weeks. Try your favorite games, hobbies – things you find most enjoyable. By the next couple weeks, you should be looking for more in depth activities, things that will really force you to concentrate.

Now’s your chance to finish that project you’ve been neglecting at work. It’s a chance to catch up on studying or reading – anything you’ve been putting off that you really want to take care of now.

Going no contact for a while – usually about 30 days – will let you get your life back. Then, at that point, you can examine your current state, and whether you really want to get him back still.

If you do, you’ll be in a much better frame of mind because you’ll be thinking rationally rather than emotionally. Instead of being in a haze of despair and chaos from the breakup, you’ll see things in a new light.

It will be much easier to make the decisions you need to make: whether you truly want him back, and then, how you’re going to go about getting him back when you’re ready to.

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