You may be considering a rebound relationship, so you need to know why everyone can get hurt in a rebound relationship.
Let’s look at the definition of rebound relationships – this is a relationship that a person engages in soon after the breakup of their previous relationship. There are up to four people affected in this kind of relationship – the new couple and the partners they recently had a relationship with.
There can be a number of reasons for embarking on this new relationship, one of them being payback to hurt their previous partner or an attempt to make them jealous. This is not fair to the new partner or their previous partner and is likely to backfire, so usually, in this situation, no-one wins and each person is further hurt.
Another reason is that the suddenly single person does not want to be alone, and so in order to not have to be on their own, quickly get into another relationship. People who suddenly find themselves single seem to attract like fellows, and so two people just out of a relationship can leap quickly into another.
There are a number of drawbacks or issues to be aware of with rebound relationships –
– People often have unresolved issues from their previous relationships and by engaging in another relationship quickly may not have been able to resolve these issues and therefore bring them into the new relationship.
– People can jump into these relationships mistaking comfort and sharing a common pain for love, and so the relationship itself cannot be sustained and is relatively short-lived.
– People can use these relationships as a way to cover their hurt emotions and avoid dealing with them, but still need to resolve their feelings about the relationship and their lost love. When they begin to deal with those emotions they may find that they have ‘outgrown’ the person they are now with.
– People can get into another relationship quickly so that they can feel good about themselves again as being dumped or having suffered a breakup can make a person feel unlovable. This often results in the relationship ending quickly as the new person cannot cope with the neediness of the other.
Invariably people involved in rebound relationships are not aware of the various emotions driving their needs and they really need to spend some time alone working through those issues and getting themselves back on an even keel again before being ready for another relationship.
It is important for someone just coming from a breakup to go through the grief of losing their previous partner, their relationship and their dreams of a future together. This person needs to start to feel good about themselves again and develop a plan for their future before looking for a new potential mate. This is so they have something to give to the relationship and are able to build a healthy relationship with their new boyfriend or girlfriend.
Whenever two people are contemplating a new relationship that fits in the category of a rebound relationship, it is more likely to be successful if these points are taken into consideration and any issues worked through and resolved. This can be a time of rapid growth and getting to know each other in the new relationship, but it does require both parties to be fully aware of what is happening for them.
Just jumping into a rebound relationship without being fully aware of these factors can result in everyone getting hurt, when it isn’t really necessary.
By: Johanna Baker