Narcissism is a personality disorder that has struggled to gain acceptance in Western society. It is now known that at least 1% of American Society is affected by narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

Have you ever thought in your relationship any of the following?

o You no longer knew what was true and a lie.

o You feel emotionally battered.

o Your confidence is in shreds.

o You feel the person you had been has been sucked out of you by bullying and manipulation of a partner.

If so then maybe you are with some one who maybe has NPD. NPD is particularly prevalent in those that are driven and ambitious. Those suffering from NPD may on the outside appear to be secure with normal values and objectives. A person will with NPD will be whatever you want them to be – as long as it suits them, then you will find yourself suddenly in exile, and left perplexed, blaming yourself for what you’ve apparently done wrong. One moment you will find yourself worshiped but more often than not you will be undermined. At the same time, whatever traits your partner finds attractive – and therefore threatening to their own sense of superiority – they will set out to destroy.

Narcissisms when it is extreme are hugely destructive to anyone around it and is a form of emotional abuse. Narcissists play subtle, long-term psychological game that is truly deadly to the other person’s psyche.

What Exactly Is NPD?

Narcissism affects men more than women. A person with NPD is spectacularly lacking in curiosity or concern for others, but can easily stimulate both if it ensures the continuation of what psychiatrists call “narcissistic supply” of uncritical admiration and adoration.

How can you differentiate between a badly behaved rogue who may really love you – and a man, or women who has become highly skilled in camouflaging their lack of authentic emotion?

Here is a little test

If a person displays five or more of the following traits, they are likely to have narcissistic tendencies.

o A grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized a superior without commensurate achievements)

o Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love.

o Believes that he or she is ‘”special” and unique, and can only be understood by, or should be associate with, other special or high status people (or institutions).

o Requires excessive admiration.

o Has a sense of entitlement, i.e. unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.

o Is interpersonally exploitive, i.e. takes advantage of others to achieve his or her ends.

o Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feeling and needs of others.

o Are often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

o Shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes.

Don’t be alarmed if you have some narcissistic tendencies they can be healthy and life-preserving however if you have too many of the above characteristics then it may make you to be corrosive to be around.

Can it Be Treated?

In treatment people with NPD are divided into two groups. In one are “pure” or thick-skinned narcissists. They have often been extremely spoilt and indulged and given no boundaries as children. In the second group are thick-skinned narcissists who have grown up feeling unloved and unlovable (and as a result shut off their emotions). Most therapists say the former are impossible to help; the latter may respond to therapy however if there isn’t any change in a year then the chances of success are very low. The person with NPD will constantly try to prove they are superior to the therapist; that the professional knows nothing.

Unfortunately most psychiatrists when asked what should a person do if his or her partner has NPD say “leave”. The children of narcissists may find themselves attracted to narcissist, because they have had early training.

In conclusion

Narcissism is not widely recognized but really can be debilitating to any person who partner suffers from this disorder. If you have invested in your choice of partner, denial about that behaviour is easy. You may also believe it is your fault that you can’t reach them. However learning about NPD may allow you to put together pieces of a relationship that had not fitted before. If you live with someone who has this disorder, whatever you do will not be enough. It may be hard to except but being the partner of a narcissist is like being infiltrated like acid. If you fail to erect defenses they will take over. Acceptance of a problem is the first step and then therapy is the only course of action but the warned the chances of recovery are low.

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